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American Pilots Fight for Return to 1934 Wages with Adjustments
(12 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5)
Loading ...08th December 2008
In a surprising development, American Airlines pilots have decided to increase their demands for wage improvements as the contentious negotiation process drags on. Allied Pirates Association (APA) President Cap’n Lloyd “Dollar” Hill said the union has now decided to demand an increase to 1934 wages, the year the American Airlines name was first used, with adjustments for inflation and aircraft size.
According to Hill, American’s pilots made $10,000 per year in 1934 flying “I dunno, like 10 seats or something like that.” Adjusted for inflation to 2008 dollars, this would equal approximately $160,000.
When asked what Hill had in mind regarding aircraft size adjustments, he responded, “Well, I figure that if they flew around 10 seats for that much back then, the the roughly 140 seat MD-80 drivers should pull in 14 times that amount, so $2.2 million.”
Using this equation, American’s 777 pilots would make upwards of $3.5 million per year.
“We’re really trying to be reasonable here,” Lloyd continued. “We’re willing to keep first officer wages at half captain wages, assuming that they are guaranteed a promotion to captain within six months of their hire date.”
When asked the company’s response to this proposal, American Senior Vice President of Human Resources Jeff “Cry Me a River” Brundage said, “Huh?” After reiterating the APA proposal, Brundage’s mustache immediately turned gray to finally match his hair.
“Screw those guys,” Brundage exploded. “We don’t need them anyway. [American EVP] Dan [Garton] and I will just go fly the damn things ourselves. For the millions we’ll make in our stock option program, it’s the least we can do.”
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